Ratchet

Oh man! Ratchet! I’m sitting here wondering about where I even start. Ratchet is a big deal in my little world. If there was ever a testament to awesome character writing making you forget that a toy is lame, it was Ratchet.

When I came back to really reading the old TF:UK comics I realised that my favourite era was that chunk from ‘Decepticon Dambusters’ through to ‘In the National Interest’, and not ‘Target:2006’ as I’d previously told myself. And throughout that era Ratchet stood tall. He was omnipresent and key in so many scenes, often playing a subtle but vital role, such as in ‘Crisis of Command’ where he’s the one that doesn’t engage with Prowl and Jazz’s argument but instead turns to Optimus to encourage him to step in.

Of course he played a MASSIVE role in those early American comics. When ALL the other Autobots were laid out by Shockwave, it was a brave, resourceful, but pant shittingly anxious Ratchet that saved the day. Those issues where he stands up to Megatron, like the all time classic ‘Warrior School’, really are some of Budianksy’s finest writing.

I loved the dynamic between him and the Dinobots. I’ve seen so many people talk about those early Kirby and Lee Fantastic Four comics and how mind blowing it was to see a superhero team who squabbled with each other, and ‘The Wrath of Guardian/Grimlock’ felt like that to me. Those little insert panels where the Ratchet is absent mindedly racking his memory while the Dinobots get their arses kicked, or he’s glib about the extent of that beating while he repairs Grimlock’s hand, only to get a smack in mouth as thanks, felt like no other action kids story I’d ever seen/read/heard before.

And like any of the characters he really loved, Furman put Ratchet through hell. As soon as he got his hands on the US title Furman put Ratchet front and centre and put him through an emotional ringer, suffering under the weight of having to restore the Autobots wiped out by an Underbased up Starscream, only to have to go up against Megatron again, only to valiantly sacrifice himself to blow Megatron up, only to get fused with Megatron, only to be saved just in time to fucking sacrifice himself again to take out Megatron, Galvatron, Starscream and Shockwave. Strewth!

And it’s for all these reasons that, for me, Ratchet will always be one of the greatest and most heroic Autobots that ever was. James Roberts tapped into this with his version of Ratchet, who took the compassion, decency, and dedication of Furman’s Ratchet and added some of the crankiness we’ve seen in the Ratchet’s in Transformers: Animated and Transformers: Prime. And once again, Ratchet was one of my favourite characters in that comic. The last issue was a bit of a gut punch for me.

And then we have the toy.

Obviously we’ve been through this before with Ironhide, but yer G1 Ratchet is a toy that doesn’t work in a toyline that’s mythology was defined by the cartoon and comics. I’m not sure there was all that many kids who were begging their parents to buy them Ratchet because he was such a cool and essential toy (No, put Jazz back mother. I want the deformed ambulance), though now I’ve said that I don’t doubt I’ll get all sorts of comments from people saying that’s exactly what they did.

Everytime I look at the Ratchet toy, I’m reminded of the (probably apocryphal) story a childhood friend told me about their super artistic friend who could draw all the Transformers the best but when they came to Ratchet they just drew a turd. Like, rat-shit, geddit?

Children can be so droll, and cruel.

So, hopefully I’ve convinced everyone about how important Ratchet is. And now that we’re all agreed on that we can blame me for Hasbro releasing him as an exclusive. A potentially quite hard to get exclusive. One Uk e-tailer had him up as a pre-order for all of a few hours before they sold out. Another one wasn’t even sure they’d ever get any stock in. With such a gloomy outlook, is is any wonder that some idiots (like me) were paying nearly twice the going price for a Deluxe figure by ordering them from Hong Kong via eBay?

Hell, no! It’s Ratchet!

When I saw the early photos of this figure I was a bit sceptical. The paint job looked WEAK! Putting aside the black crest on his head, there wasn’t enough red, or even differing shades of white to break up alllllllll that white. He looked bland. I mean, even his wheels were white. Ugh!

In hand I am amazed by how differently I feel. He simply feels correct. With the white having an almost ‘off cream’ tone to it, it winds up breaking up more naturally and making the figure seem that much more dynamic. And that blue windscreen is to die for! Yes, he still could have used more red in there. and the helmet should have been red with a white crest. As the kids say, don’t @ me telling me that’s the right deco for his head. By this point you should know my bias is towards the comics.

But it’s the face sculpt that really sells this to me. It looks like my guy. The subtle furrow of the brow conveys a surgeons focus, but the openness of the rest of his features speaks to his compassion. It may be my favourite headsculpt in Siege thus far.

The vehicle mode has all the charm and faults that Ironhide had (what, I didn’t mention this was a redo of Siege Ironhide? Get with the programme!); it looks damn good apart those obvious arms and feet. A neat touch is that the vehicle mode has a new (and improved, in my opinion) spoiler from Ironhide’s. Somehow that winds up giving the vehicle a slightly sleeker profile than ol’ ARNHAAAAAIDE! The grey wheels still totally suck though!

One other thing I must point out is how bloody good the accessories are. A wrench. Oh my heavens, and what a wrench. I love it. And he’ll be lending it to Nautica, but not all the time. And that’s not even the best bit. There’s an attachment that allows you to recreate the rocket launcher that came with the G1 sled. What an inspired choice. The fact that these can plug into the vehicle mode in such cool ways is sheer delight.

You know, I almost passed on this figure. I’ve got the Transformers Prime Ratchet, that has served me well on my Lost Light shelf. And it looked like it was going to be a lot of heartache and hassle to get this one. And he’s only a redo of Ironhide. I could skip him and still have a good, solid, satisfying ‘complete’ collection. But in the end I’m so glad I splashed out on him. Do I resent paying more than I would for a Voyager for him? No, I don’t. The guy’s brought me a lot of happiness over the years. He’s worth it.